musical detox

well, the time has risen. *sounds trumpets* MUUUUUUUSSSSSSSIIIICCCCC DEEEEEEEETTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!!!! do yall know what that means? i don't really know how to describe it.... well basically, i'm not gonna listen to my usual screamo/metal music (for now) but instead gonna listen to my Nevershoutnever, Plug In Stereo, and The Ready Set. that's the kinda positive jamz this gurrl needs ;) so, yeah. this stuff is really great! in most of the songs, it's just acoustic guituars playin the music (but thats just fine by me). trading in my electric guitars for acoustic ones. huge, scar guys for adorable, stick thin boys with messages of peace on their tattoos instead of flaming skulls and naked chicks. not a bad trade, dontcha think? yepp. now im listening to Nevershoutnever's song 'trampoline' and feeling especially proud of myself :)
 Yunno what? imma start out this school year as positive as physically possible. yeah. imma hug kaleb and ask him how his summer was. imma tell joey he doesnt remid me of a primate, and i'm gonna tell amy i love her skirts and maggie that her hair is to-die-for. cuz all of these things are the right thing to do. and they'll not make me feel better in the long run, but it'll make them feel good. and thats what matters. your a good person when your kind to someone not so you'll feel better, but so they will. and that, my friends, is what i'm aiming for.

make peace.

have love.

don't get tattoos of naked ladies and flaming skulls of death (please).

lousy shut in!

i've been on the computer for hours! what is wrong with me?! i need to partay. soon. or i'm gonna become a loner freak who sends death threats to random people! i will partay, and it will be soon! uggghhh, on the brightside though, i have tons of time to think1 see, i'm using that 'on the brightside' method i told ya'll bout'! it's actually very good! stuff works.....
 anyways, i need to partay, and soon at that so, imma go pla a partay ;)

make peace.

have love.

keeep on lookin at the brightside

life is beautiful.

people destroy it.

(caylee anthony (rest in peace, baby girl))  people don't use it well.

can't you people understand? life is beautiful. life is worth saving. life is worth using it to the best of your ability. stop and live.

the light in a coal mine.

. she doesn't feel loved enough. she needs something, anything, to help her. her mother drinks. she doesn't know her father. she has friends, but none are quite close. but she's not depressed. she has god.
faith.
hope.
and through it all... love.
how? she lives on the brightside in a world where almost no one does.

   ''You're only as tall as your heart will let you be
And you're only as small as the world will make you seem
When the going gets rough and you feel like you may fall
Just look on the brightside - you're roughly six feet tall"
so, how tall are you? small? this quote from the song on the brightside is my life now. this is how i am living. i need to.

wherever you are. new york. chattanooga. aphganistan. this is the way to live. stay out of the dark. live on the brightside.

OCD: not as sucky as imagined

i'm obsessed. every minute of every day i'm thinking about it. it's always in my head. i need it for survival. i love it with all my heart. yes, i'm talking about reading! what else?! but seriously, i skip meals to read now, and ya'll who know me know how tough it is for me to skip a meal. But there is eons of plus sides! like how reading is way more educational and such rather than video games, or drugs! or the fact that i'm finishing books in record time, which thrills the hate outa me! OCD, maybe it's not such  a bad thing. oh and hannah, don't EVER read the twilight saga. Not ANYTHING you'd like at all. At. All. WAY too depressing. but i'm note focusing on depressing... at the moment... nope. i'm listening to an extremely undepressing-sounnding song (love like woe).

OH MY GOODNESS, I DIDN'T TELL YA'LL! i've found a love.

Jordan. Witzigreuter. lead singer of the band.... drumroll.... the ready set! look up the music vid of love like woe, and you'll understand why. not only is this mann hawt, but he's got an incredible voice. i mean, come on girls, who doesn't like a guy who cane serenade her?!

  (see that, he's totally looking at me right then and serenading me)
 honestly. i love him like jocee from the cupcake dictionary love the dude from the chronicles of narnia, or like hannah loves (beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!). Do ya'll understand my infatuation yet?! i don't think you do! sigh.... the mann is just... wow. is this how fan's of justin beiber feel? you know, not the crazed ones who try to tackle him and send death letters to selena gomez, but the milder ones, like hannah or my other friend, brooke. but not my sister. she'd totally tackle him if given the oppritunity. in her defense, she does tackle everybody anyways......

make peace.

have love.

keep yo meathooks AWAY from my jordan! ya'll can be serenaded by justin timberlake or whoever, but NOT him.

cuz i'm a rebel like that ;)

listening to the runaway's best hits. eating nothing, ignoring my mother's gripes about me eating nothing. why? cuz im a rebel like that ;) wearing man pj's (because of their comfortable pants XD) tho my mom said it's weird. why? cuz i'm a rebel like that. listening to joan jett's 'i love rock 'n' roll'. why? cuz it's a quality song of course! i love rock 'n' roll, so put another dime in the jukebox baby! sorry, i love that song so much :)
  ok, so guess who's going out today?! me! it's been.... a while since i've gone out... but i will again today! huzzah! ok, so i gotta go, it takes time to transform this *points towards hideously grotesque face* into an ocean goddess....

make peace.

have love.

be knowin this gurl is a rebel.

vampire books are stooopid

okay so ive been bored, so i spent all day yesterday re-reading twilight (finished it too, new record!) and i realized, in all the vampire books i read (and i read a lot of em') all of the heroine's are so eager to turn into vampires and just leave their family like that! i mean, that's completely ridiculous, right? who would leave their perfectly nice family for some brooding handsome bloodsucker? leach? parasite, for goodness sakes! i mean, duuude?! i love my mommy and i would never leave her like that! it would break my heart into a bajillion tiny little pieces to do half the stuff they do for extremely stupid reasons, but just forget leaving my momma. it's physically impossible to love anything more than her anyways. yep. physically impossible. and i don't even care i sound alittle nerdy at saying how much i love my momma.                                                           

 yep.

make peace.

have love.

tell you momma you loooooove her XD

im not depressed....

holy jesus-blessed  crap. i sound soooo depressed on this blog! oh my goodness! i'm not depressed! im cheerful! happy! all that good ole stuff! gosh, i must post at the times i do feel depressed, cuz im not usually like that! wow! can yall tell how genuinely shocked i am, i mean, jeeez! i do seem to listen to music that makes overemotional people want to kill themselves. (and i do realize i am overemotional myself, but not that overemotional) i'm not all depressed, but when i do get sad, i am extremely saad. hmm. do i seem depressed to yall? please comment on it. PLEAAAAASE? it would fill me with great joy :) i mean, do you see that depressed girl picture?! thats not me! right? right hannah? allison? right?

make peace.

have love.

dont you dare go all depressed on me.

i feel like fried poop

( DO YOU SEE THAT??!! THATS HOW I FEEL) it's not enough to say ''i feel like crap'' so im takin it to the next level in saying '' i feel like fried poop''. makes it seem worse? well it should, cuz i DO feel that way. something horrible has happened. i feel horrible about it, but i'm not sure if i'm even at fault. i need to tell a certain person, but i'm scared to, because i'm walking on thin ice with him/her. and i also NEED to confide in someone, but my best friend (who's a GREAT listener) is gone all week. this B-L-O-W-S. i need to sleep or something. maybe i'll excersice, cuz it's a good thing to do when your mad/upset. uggghhhh, ii hate myself soo much right now. and i totally could confide in his blog right now, but i wont, cuz i'm also scared of what yall'd think of me. i hate hate hate knowing i'm being judged, but being unable to do anything about it. uggggggggghhhhhhhhhh. please dont judge me, ya'll. please. i sound like a sissy right now, dont i? i totally do....

make peace.

have love.

just know that a person's actions define who they are.

modern war fare black ops is the coolest game that i fail at

yeah, i just got back from deebra's (my bud) house a few hours ago, and she got me addicted to black ops! it's not like thats a bad thing, i mean, soldiers go through a time machine to fight nazi zombies?! seriously, thats just, amazing. i do suck, but that doesnt makeit less awesome either. you can barely even see the zombies till' they're right there, having an appetizer of YOUR FACE! i need tht game now. like spongebob needs patrick or hannah needs gummy bears. honestly... so i got a comment on my hair the other day  from my cousin alex, who cuts my hair. she says my hair reminds her of an awesome hairstyle joan jett had in the 70's or something, and i LOVE joan jett. LOVE HER.  anyways, i gotta go

make peace.

have love.

for god sakes, listen to a joan jett and the blackhearts song.

cuz i'm just cool like that

today has been just one huge example of the excellence that is me. even when i throw up, its glittery and smells like lavender. but anyways, i woke up at 9:30, at four huge pancakes and washed it down with a liter of milk, and went back to bed. when i woke up again at god knows when, i had the single best dream OF MY LIFE OR ANYONE ELSES, so i spent two hours laying there, mentally reliving the dream. basically, i was married to my dream man, my best friend was jesus, and i ate ANYTHING i wanted without running low on cash or getting morbidly obeise. if thats not the best dream ya'll have ever heard, then i can't even imagine what is.... so after i relived the dream over and over again, i came out and ate 2 boxes of raspberries, 3 danonino yogurts, and roughly 18 fishsticks....  so now i'm on the computer
(obviously) and listening to paralyzer by finger eleven (BEST SONG WRITTEN BY MAN (okay thats a lie, but its definetely in the top ten)) by the way, did anyone guess what yesterday's song lyrics were? guess not. it's apologize, by timbaland, feat. one republic. good (breakup) song, but extremely depressing.hey, and ya'll who see meh bff's blog that's so me, yeah she's gonna be gone all week at camp patmos, so guess who's doing THE BEST GUESTPOST ANYONE ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH HAS EVER SEEN?! our friend debra... jk jk, it's totally me..... so imma log off and commit another crime of pure excellence.....

make peace.

have love.

commit the dastardly (is that even a word?) crime of pure, unadulerated EXCELLENCE!

life sucks, but theres always harry potter!

guess who saw the newest harry potter in (drumroll: bum buddadum buddadummmmmmm) in 3D!!!! everything is better in 3D, and ya'll know it ;) it is literally THE coolest movie these eyes have ever seen! i was suprised and shocked even though i've already read the same events several times in the book! this movie is HIGHLY reccomended to ANYONE who can breathe.
  but as the title told you, life still sucks. I've been brought down countless times just today ( by a meanie butt, hannah knows who) and that certain meanie butt yells at me ALL the time for NO reason. sigh....this seems random, but heres some song lyrics:
 i'm holding on your rope, got me ten feet of the ground
i'm hearing what you say, but i just cant make a sound
you tell me that you need me then you go and cut me down, but wait
you tell me that your sorry didn't that turn around, and say
it's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
(But that's nothing new)
Yeah yeah

I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue
And you say
Sorry like the Angel Heaven let me think was you,
But I'm afraid

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
Woahooo woah

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah

I'm holding on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground...


guess what song it is............ eh, i aint tellin ya, i dont feel like it....... so anyways, imma log off and fid my (homeade) duct tape slippers, and make a HUGE dent in my family's food supply

make peace.

have love.

see harry potter deathly hallows part 2, or die.

oh, this irritating, slippery topic.

my dear best friend hannah has shed light on a VERY good but VERY ''difficult'' topic, subject, whatever you'd like to call it. hannah posed the question: '' do you think some people have life easier than others?''. i answered ''of course not, everyone has hardships'', but I'm not even sure about that answer anymore. everyone i see, so happy, carefree, not a worry in the world. maybe, they are just ignorant to their hardships... i mean, i feel a LOT of people i know are VERY immature compared to they way i think. my mom says i'm mature  beyond my years, do i sound it? i mean, i do act immature a lot... anyways, back to the topic. do you guys have hardships too? I used to be postitive nobody can just sail through life with no waves or storms (like meh boating metaphor? ;) , but now, i think, 'self, everyone else i see doesn't seem to have any worries', but then i think ' no self, they could be going home to a heavy alcoholic parent, or have no parents, or are secretely fighting an illness or addiction...' jeez, i have EXTREMELY conflicted thoughts... now to cheer myself up, imma write multicolored...

make peace.

have love.

embrace your hardships, they are what make you human.

I AM SO FURIOUS!

I AM SO FURIOUS! you can probably tell by the title BUT STILL.
 Ok, it started a few hours ago at this volleyball ''camp'' i went to. it was for the three middle schools in our district: wilson (mine), heritage, and liberty (I HATE THOSE PREPPY JERKS.). well i just said it, but i do hate them. they are preppy, obnoxious, and they dress the same (with what little clothing they actually wore today) and think they are god(thank god none of them know my boyfriend (that i know of) or he'd be gone in a snap).  don't get me wrong, they KICK BUTT at volleyball, but then they go talkin crap bout everyone else, ossing us around and I CAN BARELY TAKE IT. i *may* have *alittle* anger management problem, but thats NO excuse, and still reserve the right to RIP HER OVERLY STUPID HEAD OFF next time she even LOOKS at me funny.... and she probly will. i almost *hope* she does.yeah, you can probably tell one of em' did something i find VERY maddening. so now im listening to an angry metal song (nightmare, courtesy of avenged sevenfold) and stewing... but as soon as my stepdad, james gets back from the grocery store with my comfort food (cuz i'm also upset over my complete suckiness at volleyball, even though this is my fifth year playing) i will feel MUCH better, and maybe not write with so many capital letters ;) so anyways, for *any* veiwers or whatever out there, PLEASE comment so i know i'm not a loser who's best ffriend is the ONLY person who reads her blog.... so, i guess *maybe* after i stew for a few more hours and eat over half of my fridges contents, i'll post again, cuz i have a good idea for one (laughs deviously)

make peace.

have love.

scratch the peace thing if it's a liberty chick (THEY TOTALLY DESERVE THE WORST).

twilight sucks. XD

i've finally come to that realization. well, if twilight is your first supernatural romance novel (twas' for me) it seemed likke no other novel could possibly surpasss the awkward perfection of bella's incoherant rambling and edward's unnaturally sparkly skin, but i have found another... the series is called ' My Blood Approves' and yes, i realize how sucky that title sounds. It's perfect nonetheless. and at the beginning it may seem like a twilight rippoff, but it most definetely IS NOT. it is absolutely ADDICTIVE, and the only other thing i am addicted to is food and sweatpants in unnatural heat ( weird, right?!)  so yeah, ya'll should TOTALLY check it out. it would fill me with great joy... XD anyways, i'm listening to my new favorite techno song, mr. saxobeat, by alexandrea stan and eating raspberries. RIPE raspberries. you can always pull out of a funk with fresh raspberries, but you only get them in the summertime, so HURRY AND ENJOY YOUR FRESH RASPBERRIES. you make me this, bring me up, bring me down, playing sweet, make me move like a freak... MR. SAXOBEAT! sorry, i felt the urge to write some o those lyrics, so your welcome for that little 'sample' for lack of a better term... so imma return to my obsessive reading and seclusion to light and other living things...

make peace.

have love.

Read my blood approves while listening to Mr. Saxobeat and eating FRESH raspberries.

i'm back, baby

yesss, i'm back fellow people who like my blog. been at gramma and grampy's house. i got to thinkin bout things wen i visited some family members...
  first we went to aunt nessa's place, who's recently been diagnosed with MS. no idea exactly what it does, but she has alot of trouble moving and controlling her muscles. she can barely walk even on her good days. have you ever seen a mother look at her daughter and know she's ashamed, depressed, and in pain, and be unable to do anything about it? well, it is one of the WORST sights. mamaw and papaw's hearts were broken in a billion peices and scattered on the floor. and as soon as we got back in the car, mamaw burst in to tears, and it was soo much, i did too (and it takes A LOT to bring this girl to tears). it was absolutely horrible.
    then we went to see my older cousin ( byt three years),  who's mother (aunt val) left her to fend completely by herself. she literally is robbing her of her teenage years, being she has to work to pay her own bills and buy her own food. mamaw and papaw try to help, but they arent exactly holding up well money-wise, either, and it's just  a complete mess.
my family is in quite a dark place now, so please let mamaw and papaw, my cousin, and aunt nesssa in your thoughts and prayers.

make peace.

have love.

help the ones you love when they need you.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

DUDES, I JUST SAW THE COOLEST MOVIE EVERRRRRR!!!!!!!!! sorry bout all the caps, i'm just purty dang excitedd bout the movie me and hannah just watched. its called beastly and yall NEED to see it. i know it *might* seem suckish cuz it has vannessa hudgens, but after you get over that catastrophe, the movie is DA BOMB. i'm a sucker for romantic movies and books, tho, so i was squirmy and sqealy throughout the whole movie... by the way, this is HIGHLY reccomended for dudes, yall need a LESSON on this kinda stuff! sigh... if i hadnt rented it and need to return it in 3 days, i would watch it over and over and over until i can recite the movies dialogue by heart..... anyways, good movie, see it, and hannah says sup.

make peace.

have love.

WATCH BEASTLY.

smiley face ;)

sigh, i prolly seem uber stupid, cuz i'm posting the 3rd time today and this early after my previous, but i just wanna say, right now everything feels... right. listening to quality music, talkin to my bff, thinkin bout my mall experience, and anticipatin me and my bff's tomorrow hangout... sigh, feels perfect. right. good. for now....

make peace.

have love.

be an optimistic prime, not a negatron XD

5TH. BEST. HOUR AND A HALF. EVER.

the first-fourth best is obviously the hours spent on our recent band trip to cedar point (hannah knows why XD )  but it's the fifth!!!!!!!!! the fifth!!!! huzzah! halelujah! praise the lawrd!!!!!!!!! (notice how i say lord all ghetto n' such) anyways, me and 'a certain someone' saw mrs. bradshaw (our 6th grade language arts teacher) at the mall, so we had to run be fore she recognized us and caused a WHOLE lotta' awkward XD and we walked and talked bout shoes ( i know it sounds weird) and cookin mama and it was just craploads of awesome... and i got a song i NEED anyone who reads this to listen to a song. it'll chang yer your world. not really, but itsa good song. anyway, its called end, by scondhand serenade (my new celeb heartthrobe, cept jessie mcartney. nobody beats out that boy. ever. not even justin beiber, hannah) so check it out.

make peace.

have love.

WATCH OUT FOR MRS. BRADSHAW!

oh my goodness!

(by the way, i have no idea why the title is wat it is, just keepin it real...) another revelation, if you'd call it that. i'm a COMPLETE outsider, even from my friends. especially my friends. theyre all positive, and i'm a negative nancy... theyre parents are perfectly together and have always been, my parents havent been together since i was 2. they have different ''cliques'' or watever outside ourown, and they are all i've got. it just... bothers me sometimes. but yunno,  i'm not gonna get depressed or anything about this, cuz it's the fifth. oh hallelujah, it's the fifth! anyways, i have an ''event'' to prepare for, so imma log off.

make peace.

have love.

enjoy your fifth!            

*sniff sniff, tear*

sigh.... looks like ive been let down. betrayed. not a good feeling. have you been betrayed before, by someoe you really love and look up to? your best friend? mentor? well it sucks. it feels like i've been stabbed in the heart seven times and theyre just twisting the knife everytime i think about it. i mean, how could she? i know she knows shes doing it (twisting the knife). shes my BEST friend. always there for me (or so i thought), but it turns out she's been doing all this behind my back, and it REALLY hurts. sighh... imm log off, and eat some comforrt food, then take a good ole nap.

make peace.

have love.

Be careful who you trust.

revelation!

well, i wouldnt really call it a revelation.... i've just been thinking lately, why are we trying to act way older than we are? i'm barely a teenager, but i act as if i've been one for AWHILE. almost everyone i know does. all my friends are into dudes and a ton of em' have or have had boyfriends. except my best bud, annah-hay. HANNAH, IF YOUR READING THIS, I HOPE YOU NEVER EVER EVER GET A BOYFRIEND. not so, yunno, you'll never be happy, it's just... it makes you feel and act different, so don't take it the wrong way! sighh, i wish i acted more like ya, hannah. bubbly and positive, and charismatic. and i bet your reading this thinkin '' ohhh, you!'' hahahaha... but yall ( if anyones even readin this peice o fried poop i call a blog) should check out hannah's blog: http://lalala-thats-so-me.blogspot.com/ its some good stuff (even to she thinks its crap) you can just tell by readin it how gangsta she be XD she's like the epitemy of ghetto (epitemy is my new favorite word) anyways, my lil' sis is trippin, so imma log off...

make peace.

have love.

ACT YOUR AGE.

yesterday

yesterday... all my troubles seemed so far away, now it looks as though there here to stay, oh i believe in yesterday.
suddenly, im not half the man i used to be. there's a shadow hanging over me, oh yesterday came suddenly.
why she had to go, i dont know, she wouldnt say. i said something wrong, now i long for yesterday.
yesterday, love was such an easy game to play, now i need a place to hide away, oh i believe in yesterday.
why she had to go, i dont know, she wouldnt say. i said something wrong, now i long for yesterday.
yesterday, love was such an easy game to play, now i need a place to hide away, oh i believe in yesterday.
mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm :)
                        -the beatles

tear....

the title doesnt mean i'm sad. not at all. ive been introduced to the most beautiful music... the artist is secondhand serenade, and he has the most GORGEOUS voice... and the music is sooo beautiful. it really speaks how i feel sometimes, and ive never found music that has before.... i probly sound stupid getting this dramatic about music, but music... saves me... does that make sense to you? whoevers out there reading? well right now i feel suffocated and despereate to see my friends and emotional....... so i'm just gonna log of the computer, eat something yummy, and call or text hannah and see if she'll cheer me up, like she always finds a way to do...

make peace.

have love.

listen to secondhand serenade.